i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
