Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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