Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
