So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
