I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Are we still banned from the library?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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