Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
