Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
