She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
