and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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