i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
