Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
