Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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