I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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