i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
