He uses pillows to masturbate.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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