When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
