You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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