Will you blow on my dice?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
