I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
