is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
