Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
