i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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