you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Panties = found
Randomize
