The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
