shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
