What did we do last night that was yellow?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
