I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Barsexuality is the new black.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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