1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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