If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
