..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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