Clothes are such an inconvenience.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
