its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
