Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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