Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
