I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
