Just mADE A PArabola og urine
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
