I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
