Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
