Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
50% drunk capacity currently
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
