we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
