K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
