haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
