So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
