What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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