Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
