Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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