She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
