I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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