she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
