Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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