When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
