eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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