I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
